Winged Memories
by The Golden Ostrich
Summary: Roger is hired for what appears to be a typical case, but when Schwarzwald gets involved, he finds himself questioning his own existence. Reflection, romantic overtones (Roger&Dorothy), rating for language. Please R&R!
1. Chapter One : Lost Feathers

Winged Memories  
The Golden Ostrich 

* * *

disclaimer: I do not own Roger Smith or anyone else from the Big O...otherwise you'd have to arrest me for slavery, and that would not be fun. However, Mrs. Rockefeller and Sunny are appropriately copyrighted to me.

* * *

"Your pet parrot, ma'am?" 

"Yes…poor Sunny went missing yesterday morning and I haven't seen a trace of him since."

"You think he was…kidnapped?"

"Oh yes…he has very valuable memories, you know."

"Memories?"

"Parrots can live for a long time, Mr. Smith. I believe he was with me before the Event…when I found myself in this new world, he was perched on my shoulder as always. He's the only creature who knows about my past."

"But what makes you so certain Sunny was kidnapped?"

Mrs. Rockefeller holds out a handful of blue feathers to me. "I found these in the parlor, next to his cage…it's not molting season, so the only reasonable explanation is there was a struggle to remove him."

"Did you hear anything the night he disappeared?"  
  
"These old ears aren't what they used to be," she sighs. "The parlor is down the hall from my bedroom, but I slept soundly through whatever happened."  
  
"I see…do you have any idea who might want him?"  
  
"No, although there was something lying in with the feathers." She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a length of tattered bandage. My shoulders stiffen.  
  
"Did Sunny know how to talk?"  
  
"Of course!" she said proudly. "He was very intelligent…it was almost like speaking to a human, he was so articulate."  
  
"Did he ever say anything about what happened forty years ago?"  
  
"No, but I suspect he knows…whenever that black MegaDeus would rise up from the ground, he'd fly away to some dark corner of my home until it disappeared again."  
  
"I'll do my best to find him for you, Mrs. Rockefeller."  
  
"Thank you…I'm sure you will."

* * *

"Mrs. Rockefeller seems a bit eccentric," said Dorothy on the way home.  
  
"How do you mean?"  
  
"To say that her parrot is her past is illogical."  
  
"Not necessarily. The elderly are the one who most regret to loss of their memories. Sunny is possibly the last link to her youth," I explained.  
  
"I too contain memories from forty years ago, but they're still inaccessible."  
  
"People cling to things, tangible or otherwise."  
  
"You don't, Roger."  
  
"I don't like to concern myself with memories. They lead to unhappiness."  
  
"Like Mrs. Rockefeller losing Sunny?"  
  
"Yes," I said. "Those memories locked inside that bird are causing her great pain now."

* * *

author's note: the beginning's a bit slow...trying to set the stage for the rest of the story. . It'll pick up in the next chapter.


	2. Chapter Two : Messenger Bird

Winged Memories  
The Golden Ostrich

* * *

Dorothy and I walked out to the roof upon returning home to the mansion, wondering what he was up to this time. There was no doubt in my mind that Schwarzwald was behind this latest escapade, but how? Angel told me his body had been found on the shore beyond the desert…even if it wasn't his though, why? Although depraved, he's obviously an intelligent being, so why would he go to all the trouble of stealing a bird that is afraid of his memories? Surely he must know that those traces are as intangible in animals as in humans or androids…  
  
Something clicked in my mind.  
  
"Dorothy?"  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"How was Beck able to utilize your memories for his MegaDeus if they're inaccessible?"  
  
She turned and stared at me for a moment. "He didn't access them at all, only attached me to Dorothy One. She was able to use them to replace her own, which you destroyed in the first battle."  
  
"So he still couldn't view them."  
  
"No. It is not possible, to the extent of my knowledge."  
  
"Do you think someone with memories of forty years ago could?"  
  
"It's possible. I don't know if they were ever accessible."  
  
I paused to consider this for a moment…if we can't even manipulate machines to do our bidding, what could Schwarzwald ever hope to accomplish with a parrot? No matter how smart, an animal will always be an animal, obeying only the most basic and primitive of emotions: hunger, thirst, fear…if Sunny is afraid of Big O, as Mrs. Rockefeller said, then he will always flee from those memories of MegaDeuses. The bird was useless to Schwarzwald.  
  
"He must think he can force the memories out of Sunny."  
  
"Humans are illogical creatures," Dorothy said. "They think they understand things that are incomprehensible."  
  
"Not all humans are the same…"  
  
"No, but they must have some common trait to make them human."  
  
"Physical appearance."  
  
"I look human."  
  
"That's true."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Dorothy, do you ever wish Wayneright hadn't created you?"  
  
"Doesn't everyone, at some point, desire nonexistence?" She looked up into my eyes with her pure black ones.  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Why would I be any different?"  
  
"Well, you're…"  
  
"An android? I can feel things too sometimes. No one knows entirely how I operate."  
  
"Do you?"  
  
"No." She paused to turn her gaze to the city. "I am human in that respect…I don't understand myself."  
  
"I think you're human in other ways, too." I placed a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Thank you, Roger."  
  
_Thank you?_ Not exactly the response I was looking for…  
  
"Master Roger, Colonel Dastun is here to see you." Norman appeared on the roof.  
  
"I'll be right down."

* * *

"What is it this time, Dastun?" I asked the intruder scouring over my liquor collection.  
  
"I found this lying on my desk this morning. Has your name on it…not sure why it was in my office, but maybe someone doesn't know you quit the force." He tossed me an envelope …'Roger Smith' was scrawled across the front in messy cursive.  
  
"I made no secret of leaving…everyone knows."  
  
"Yeah, well apparently they didn't, or else wanted me to deliver it for some reason."  
  
I tore open the top flap and pulled out the contents…a simple typed page bearing no signature. It didn't need one though…I knew whom it was from.  
  
"Thanks, Dastun."  
  
"Yeah…listen, while I'm here…"  
  
"Brandy, third shelf down, on the left…help yourself."

* * *

"What does it say?" Dorothy asked me as I scan over the letter from Schwarzwald a fifth time.  
  
"Do you want me to read it to you?"  
  
"Yes, please do."  
  
"'This world, corrupted by the pretentious domes and black hearts of greedy politicians, has always been considered devoid of memories. The narrow-minded people of this earth look only into their own great minds and those wonderful souls of their fellow men, but never into those of the lowly animals. No, too arrogant is mankind to seek his history in something deemed worthy only of captivity and leashes.  
  
'However, if one can overcome this arrogance, there is a whole civilization still thriving as it did forty years ago. Animals: cats, dogs, birds, fish…who's to say that they lost their memories? It was the egotistical humans who required punishment, not the innocent beings of fur and plumage. I suspect that they never lost anything.  
  
'Unfortunately for my purposes, most of these animals are dead and hence forgetful, but a rare few still live from four decades ago. I have found one of these creatures, and with him will learn everything that happened to bring this world to this corrupt state! I will find a way to retrieve those memories, to gather all the knowledge, and then the world will truly know what happened here forty years ago!  
  
'I suspected this would not be easy…of course, as always, the Paradigm Dog would come strutting into play, obeying his masters. This past concerns you, Roger Smith, more deeply than I, yet you continue to interfere with my research. Don't you want to know why you can pilot the MegaDeus? Doesn't it pique your curiosity that you're the only true…'"  
  
"Why did you stop reading?"  
  
"The rest is unimportant."  
  
"What does he say about you, Roger?"  
  
"Nothing, forget it…" I folded up the letter and put it in my pocket.  
  
"Where do you go from here? Did it give you any ideas about Sunny's location?"  
  
"Not a clue…I guess we owe the Military Police Headquarters a visit tomorrow morning. Dastun might be able to tell us something more."

* * *

author's note: the plot thickens...kinda like my oatmeal...more coming soon; please review :) 


	3. Chapter Three : Birdsong Secrets

Winged Memories  
The Golden Ostrich

* * *

"Stirring things up again?" Dastun asked as we stepped into his office.  
  
"Just trying to do my job, same as you."  
  
"My job doesn't require that I give you information."  
  
"No, but the fact that you polished off a good half of my finest brandy last night dictates that you should," I said, watching in amusement as he cursed himself.  
  
"Whadaya want?"  
  
"Michael Seebach…heard from him recently?"  
  
He frowned at me. "You had that assignment from the Paradigm Group ages ago…aren't you finished yet?"  
  
"He popped up in a newer case…that letter was from him."  
  
"Lemme check," he said grudgingly and began to flip through folders in a file cabinet. "According to this, he's been deceased for two months. His body was discovered outside of the city."  
  
"Seebach is…not his other identity. You told me yourself that he was leading two lives. He gave one of them up."  
  
"You're looking for the second one?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"We don't have any information on his double, at least as far as I know."  
  
"Try looking under 'Schwarzwald'."  
  
"Schwarzwald…" Dastun pulled out another standard manila folder. "He's that guy who went crazy in the red MegaDeus and tried to blow up the Dome, right? Disappeared after the damn thing got up and started walking on it's own."  
  
"So he hasn't been heard from since?"  
  
"Not that we're aware of…Paradigm had the MegaDeus hauled off to some laboratory underground somewhere and that was the end of the case."  
  
I nodded and motioned to Dorothy that we were leaving. "If anything new comes up," I said as we walked through his door, "there's a bottle of scotch sitting on my shelf that you might interest you."

* * *

"It's only my opinion, but I don't think a man like Schwarzwald would give up so easily. The MegaDeus going berserk in the middle of the Dome has probably only pushed him to search further through those dusty scraps of memories scattered across the earth."  
  
"They say his body was found."  
  
"And whose body was that? The man you're looking for or the hollow shell that once held him prisoner?" Big Ear flipped his newspaper to the next side. "Again, I don't believe he'd simply accept defeat, especially with the tip of the iceberg now revealed to the public. Would you throw away half a lifetime of work because it backfired? I don't think even considered that a failure."  
  
"His 'Leviathan' didn't accomplish much."  
  
"Not on the surface, no. It was overpowered by a knight in shining armor come to rescue the maiden." He nodded at Dorothy and I felt my patience thinning. "But he did do something very important."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"He brought people to realize what they desire without admitting it."  
  
"Memories?"  
  
"The denizens of Paradigm, for the most part, are content to live beneath these domes without question. Scraps of memory present themselves and they cast them to the side…you yourself believe this is the way to lead a happy life. Look at the foreigners slipping through the shadows as they search. They are not cheery. Why do you suppose that is?"  
  
"What I want to know is where I can find him."  
  
"Someone like him won't stay hidden for long…you youngsters need to learn patience."  
  
"I have a job to complete," I say and place a fold of money on his table.

* * *

author's note: hmmm...not much to say...which is very unusual for me. More coming soon. Please R&R! 


	4. Chapter Four : Wet Feathers

Winged Memories  
The Golden Ostrich

* * *

Back at the mansion I shrugged wearily out of my jacket and tossed it on the couch. No one seemed to know anything about a ghost named Schwarzwald, or else they were unwilling to tell. I had Dorothy ask around his old neighborhood, but they were none too eager to speak of their deranged neighbor. It briefly crossed my mind that I should search out Angel, but since she'd been fired it'd been just as impossible to find her as well. Big Ear may be right…  
  
It was raining, away from the protection of the domes. I found myself walking out onto the roof, despite the downpour. There's something symbolic about standing in the rain in this city…it's like a desire to peer back into that time forty years ago when there were no artificial skies to shelter people from the rain. I wonder if this is why some people choose not to live beneath the domes…if the rain brings out people like Schwarzwald who search so desperately for their pasts. Do they see themselves as what they once were in those puddles on the street? Does the rain reflect their histories?  
  
I stood there as the rain soaked through my hair and clothes until Dorothy came out. She was carrying my discarded coat.  
  
"What are you doing?" she asked in her monotone.  
  
"Do you like the rain, Dorothy?"  
  
"It does not bother me."  
  
"But do your memories of the real Dorothy Wayneright feel an affinity for it?"  
  
"I do not like to think of myself as a fake Dorothy."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"It's all right. I do not know what she thought of the rain, but it is nostalgic."  
  
"I thought it might be…"  
  
"You're going to get sick." She handed me the jacket. "Come inside. Dinner will be done soon."  
  
I nodded and followed her back into the warmth…my answers were not going to appear in a puddle like Schwarzwald's.

* * *

As I was buttoning up a dry shirt, I decided that I should look over the letter again…his words may've angered me, but perhaps I overlooked some clue. I took my jacket off the back of a chair and reached into the pocket, but the letter wasn't there. I spent a few minutes searching the floor and beneath the furniture before it dawned on me.  
  
"R. Dorothy Wayneright!" I yelled as I slammed the door open against the wall. I was certain I'd put the doorknob through the plaster at last. She looked up from her seat at the piano, the sheet of paper in her hands.   
  
"Is it true?"  
  
"What?" I asked, caught off guard.  
  
"'Don't you want to know why you can pilot the MegaDeus? Doesn't it pique your curiosity that you're the only true god of this world?'" She stared at me with eyes devoid of emotion, but they pried at my edges nonetheless. "Do you think this is true?"  
  
"It's nonsense!" I said. "They're just the deranged words of a man driven by something intangible."  
  
"Then why did you hide it from me?"  
  
I didn't answer her directly. I didn't know how.  
  
"Why were you going through my pockets?"  
  
"I wanted to see the letter for myself."  
  
"I read all the important parts to you."  
  
"But I couldn't see what he'd written. I understand now."  
  
"Understand what? That he's insane?"  
  
"No, I don't believe he's insane. He's brokenhearted."  
  
I looked at her incredulously for a moment…an android talking about broken hearts…  
  
"What did you find?" I asked, calmer. I sat down on the bench next to her.  
  
She held the letter up to the gray light of the window. "This paper is watermarked."  
  
I looked carefully at the insignia hidden so lightly in the fibers. "'Trinity Co.'. There's an old factory there that used to make this paper."  
  
"Schwarzwald will be there."

* * *

author's note: watermark? WATERMARK? what the hell am I thinking? "shakes head" Please R&R! 


	5. Chapter Five : Mourning Dove

Winged Memories  
The Golden Ostrich

* * *

We drove through the endless sheets of rain until we reached the place called Trinity. Dorothy was silent for the most of the trip…I found it disturbing, although without reason. Sometimes though, it's almost as if she can sense more than a human, being devoid of the same emotions…in theory, at least.  
  
Her hands were folded in her lap over the letter. I wondered if those ludicrous words he wrote were what kept her from speaking. She seemed so perplexed by those accusations…  
  
"So you think Schwarzwald is 'brokenhearted'?" I finally said. The silence was deafening.  
  
She nodded.  
  
"By what?"  
  
"He does not know. He's aware that something is missing, but other than realizing those are his memories, he knows nothing. That is why he searches."  
  
"Do you believe what he says?"  
  
"It is not my place to judge."  
  
Ambiguity.  
  
"And if it were?" I was prodding recklessly.  
  
"Roger." She pointed ahead to the old factory, edges blurred by rain. Negotiations were closed, for the moment.

* * *

It was just as cold inside, and nearly as wet…half the roof was rotted away, leaving the leftover stacks of paper to be soaked.  
  
"This company moved once a spot opened up inside the domes," I said, looking at the rusting machinery. "I'm not sure why they just left everything."  
  
"I've been waiting." I heard a click from somewhere to my right. Schwarzwald stepped out from behind the shadows, pistol raised. I put my hands up and shook my head.  
  
"I don't like to carry a gun…it shows bad faith."  
  
"How noble of you, Paradigm Dog," he sneered. "I'm surprised you figured this one out. I presume you got my letter then."  
  
"Why did you leave it with the Military Police?"  
  
"They too are the dogs of this city…it is suiting that they should deliver it to you."  
  
"Your opinion of their work cost me a good bottle of brandy."  
  
"Materialistic people like you are why I now see the true state of this world."  
  
"Do you believe that people do not have a right to what they earn?"  
  
"People do not earn in this city…people are given to by the corruption!"  
  
"That's not true," I said. "No one gave you the knowledge that you have…you sought it out yourself. Your lies are your own profit."  
  
"Lies?! I am the one being in this world that knows the truth!"  
  
"It is only the truth because that is what you want it to be," Dorothy said suddenly. He glared at her, recognizing, and pulled the trigger.

* * *

author's note: two more chapters to go...I'm sure that makes my readers happy. Please R&R or I'll keep you waiting on the edge of the proverbial cliff hanger. -evil- . 


	6. Chapter Six : Winged Memories

Winged Memories  
The Golden Ostrich

* * *

"Dorothy!" I cried as she falls forward, limbs flailing across the damp concrete. The shots echoed in the air, reverberations of the three holes he blew in her legs. She lay immobile on the ground as Schwarzwald aimed his gun at me yet again.  
  
"This is the android that woke the sleeping MegaDeus below the city!" he crowed in delight. "It'll be far more useful than that cowardly decrepit old bird."  
  
"Don't you dare touch her!" I growled.  
  
"It's quite a useless conglomerate of steel and circuits right now," he continued, "but once I removed the memories for this metal shell, it will be worth more than Alex Rosewater himself!"  
  
"You bastard!"  
  
"And then at last, this city will know the truth! The people here will be made to understand why they live without a past, why the world is so limited in its history and knowledge. They will remember what they were once destined to forget and finally realize the fate they were meant to experience forty years ago!"  
  
"There's no point living in the past; it's asinine to keep chasing memories. Something so exclusively intangible is a waste of time!"  
  
"No, memories are not so elusive as you think. My efforts have not been at all fruitless…do you suppose Big Duo just walked up to me of its own accord? It had to be brought back from the dead; painfully, carefully, by a seeker of its memories!"  
  
"And what did all that work bring you? Ten minutes of revenge against the city you hate?"  
  
"I would expect you of all people, Paradigm Dog, to understand my quest. You, dominus of the black MegaDeus!"  
  
"What does Big O have to do with this?"  
  
"Your ignorance is proof of my need to enlighten this world. The Bigs, the MegaDeuses…do you know what they are, Mr. Negotiator?"  
  
"Of course not; no one knows!"  
  
"Oh, but I do. I have yet to uncover the full truth, but I know the real purpose of the MegaDeuses." He leaned forward and hissed, "They are the cataclysm!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"They are the sacred chariots of mankind; guardian angels of this earth. They protect their children, these humans who serve them, through utter destruction and Armageddon.  
  
"Forty years ago, a new threat was presented to the children…themselves. They quarreled and murdered and fought and massacred until the angels stepped forward and erased their hatred. In doing so, we were deprived of our memories, and the human race was allowed to continue living.  
  
"These are the truths that we've all been ignoring! We averted ours eyes, shamed into proper conduct by our guardian angels, though few of which still remain. They alighted back to the heavens, powers of God, taking with them the memories that had flung this world into a man-made hell. Only several doubted the humans would not search out the truth, and you, Paradigm Dog, are the dominus of one.  
  
"Do you see why you are the only true god of this world? You command the power of the angels, the might of God! You alone protect this city with the strength of the heavens at your back. Tell me, Roger Smith, what gives you that right?"  
  
"I'm not obligated to answer that."  
  
"But you are. You have no idea what you're bound to…but you use it for the good of this city, do you not?"  
  
I glared at him as he moved nearer to Dorothy.  
  
"A guardian angel. That is what the Big O is…and you are its god! You are fated to protect Paradigm from the evil that's sent to bring it to its knees. You were born into an alliance with God and a fate you must fulfill."  
  
Closer…  
  
"Do you deny your destiny, Roger Smith?"  
  
"I am not governed by anyone."  
  
"You are a god to this world…you have a destiny!"  
  
He stood over Dorothy now and I could feel my heart beating madly with…what? Anger? Hatred?  
  
Fear. I realized I was afraid for her. I try to suppress it, but such an illogical emotion is also a strong one…  
  
"Get the hell away from her," I snarled.  
  
"'Her'? It's only an android, meant to serve humans. Surely even you must understand that. And now it will serve me in the ultimate purpose." He grinned his evil Cheshire through the mask of bandages.  
  
Dorothy suddenly moved, springing up onto her hands. She flipped over her head and smashed him in the chest with her feet, then fell with a crash to her back. Schwarzwald tumbled backwards against one of the machines and the pistol skittered across the floor and into the shadows.   
  
"Big O!"  
  
The ground trembled and Schwarzwald ceased his search for the gun…he realized what was about to happen, but too late.  
  
The floor heaved and split as Big O rose out of the shattered concrete. His left hand lifted beneath Dorothy and I, carrying us away from the rumbling debris. I saw Schwarzwald as he fell through the disintegrating ground into the deep black, and then there was only the wind and rain above the factory.  
  
I gathered up Dorothy, along with all my strength, and stood up in the downpour. Far below, the city streets were lining themselves with mist and umbrellas.  
  
"He'll be back, won't he," Dorothy said tonelessly.  
  
"Someone like him has no fear of the darkness beneath the city. The promise of new memories will keep him alive."  
  
"It's sad," she said, "that he is so broken." Her words surprised me…it's not like her to be sympathetic. She looked up at me with eyes wet from the raindrops and suddenly pointed to the sky. My sight followed the path of her outstretched arm and I saw a flash of blue flying towards the domes.  
  
"Looks like negotiations are closed…"

* * *

author's note: whew that was awful to write...I kept losing all the drafts I had...left my notebook at another school during a chess match, power went out during a thunderstorm and couldn't recover the document...it's not as good as the original, but it'll suffice. Please R&R! One chapter left! 


	7. Chapter Seven : Nightingale

Winged Memories  
The Golden Ostrich

* * *

"I knew you would find him. As soon as the black MegaDeus rose up from the ground, I was certain that my darling was coming home." Mrs. Rockefeller looked up at me from her chair on the veranda, her ancient face lit with artificial sunlight. Sitting in a brass cage at her side was Sunny. "Thank you, Mr. Negotiator, and to Miss. Wayneright as well."  
  
"You're welcome, ma'am."  
  
"I will have the payment wired to your account," Mrs. Rockefeller said and I nodded.  
  
"We'll be on our way then."  
  
"Good bye."  
  
"Good bye."

* * *

"You never told me if Schwarzwald's letter was true or not," Dorothy said in the car.  
  
"I told you they were just the words of a lunatic."  
  
"But you never said if he was right. Just because he is not of sound mind doesn't mean he's necessarily wrong."  
  
I glanced over at her, her face watching me with an air of innocent curiosity.  
  
"I'm just as much of a human as everyone else in this city. The fact that I pilot Big O doesn't make me any sort of god."  
  
"But…everyone in this city is not human."

* * *

Mrs. Rockefeller closed her eyes as the dome begins to darken.  
  
_"I am glad you saw this through with me, Sunny. I wanted to have you here when these old memories finally put themselves to rest."  
  
The bird adjusted his wings and murmured in his coarse voice.  
  
"My dearest…we will not see it again. We will not have to live through what is coming."  
  
"The end?"  
  
"No. The beginning."  
  
Her eyes did not open again.__

* * *

_   
  
I reasoned later that Schwarzwald was keeping Sunny in one of the rooms of that decrepit old factory…the ceiling was knocked away when I called for Big O, and the bird escaped into the rain. His fear of the MegaDeus must have forced him to return home without question. Or perhaps he knew that Mrs. Rockefeller was dying. At any rate, he was found at her side two days later by an old friend…Sunny was as devoid of life as his doting companion.  
  
"Dorothy…when you said that everyone is not human, did you mean to imply that Schwarzwald was speaking the truth?" I watched her, balancing a few feet away on the railing of the roof.  
  
"No, Roger. You're no god…you're a louse."  
  
"And nothing more?"  
  
"Even I am more than I appear."  
  
"Yes, that's true."  
  
"Roger? Does that make me the same as you?"  
  
"In a sense. You're not so different as I thought."  
  
The wind flirted with her skirt for a moment as she considered this in silence.  
  
"There's nothing wrong with being different from me, Dorothy." She looked at me for the first time. I reached out and took her hand.  
  
"Just because there's oil beneath this skin rather than blood doesn't mean you are any less of a person."  
  
"Thank you for that…I will always remember it, just as I will always remember you, Roger Smith."  
  
We have come to terms.

* * *

author's note: hmmm...was the ending too predictable? Well hell, something has to be familiar when you've got giant robots running around and insane memory-mongers kidnapping birds to pry into their brains. Please R thank you for reading! =D 


End file.
